Bed of lies

Its not that I’m heartbroken because I am madly in love. Although mad (in the sense of crazy) is how I have been acting. But what breaks my heart more is looking back on texts, that contradict everything going on now. I guess you can say I’m heart broken because of the false hope. I’m heartbroken because I was told I was never gonna be given up on. That I would be fought for. And no one ever faught for me. I was always thrown to the trash. So I clung to those words. I clung to the fact that you made me feel important. And out of everything I just cannot stop re reading texts wondering where that person went. 

“But met you and I fucking love you. Just like that. So fucking easily. You give me hope again and I see a bright future with you…” 

But at least one thing was true…

“The reason for our fall out (if we do) will not be from infedelity or an affair” 

This may seem like desperation or obsession but when you find someone who fills your head with everything you’ve never heard you latch. And on top of that I was given everything so I loved. But now I am the vilian for showing my love and eagerness to make things right. 

I will no longer be someone’s weak minded puppet. I’m so much stronger. ‘Lips and tongues lie, but actions never do. No matter what words are spoken, actions betray the truth of everyone’s heart’. So who is more adult? Someone who works like mad to avoid a problem? Or someone who works like mad to solve it? Because life doesn’t work by burning bridges. Soon you’ll be on one end of the ravine, screaming for help, to build a bridge and move along. 

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